Do you know what I learned this month? That if someone begins a sentence with "I think I agree with Justice Thomas" I'll probably disagree with 99.99% of everything they will ever say. Especially if they go on to say that prosecuting wife-beaters could be bad, because it might cause women to let themselves be abused. I can't even find the strength in my four fingers (you know, they four that I type with) to go over what I thought when I heard someone say that out loud.
Here's another thing I learned: baseball sized hail will shatter a car windshield in about one minute. I learned this through someone else, but these are the kind of lessons that you don't forget. Oh, and a tornado won't hesitate to steal your porch chairs right from your patio and desposit them who-knows-where. That one I can personally attest to.
I've also learned a lot about the ethical issues in collaborative family law. What? Oh . . . you don't give a rat's ass? Nobody wants to hear about law school? Thank goodness I have Neville. He likes conversation and doesn't mind if I complain about law school. Although he never has very good advice, since all of our talks go something like this:
Me: I still have eight more pages to write! I'll never get this finished!
Neville: Meeeeeooooow.
Me: Is it possible to fail out of law school?
Neville: *blinks*
Me: I need a cookie.
Okay, so maybe that conversation was a bit of a lie. Neville only knows 2 words: "mao" and "yao". He's very into Chinese history and culture. Sometimes we ask him "Neville, who's your favorite player on the Rockets?" and he'll say, "Yaaooo." Othertimes he gets confused and answers "Maaaoooo" but we quickly correct him and explain that he's thinking of the deceased leader of the Communist Party of China.
And although it's not yet Friday, I had to share the following Chuck Norris fact, because I thought it was fantastic (it's way better if you read it out loud):
"Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus"
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Guilds Kick Ass
In the past week, Matt has:
1. killed a wild boar with his fists,
2. gotten sucked into a painting,
3. been bitten by a vampire,
4. been struck by lightning,
AND
5. chased down a dinosaur.
Did I mention this all took place in Oblivion? And by "Oblivion" I mean "the reason that I'm going to fail out of law school". Seriously, I think the most accurate comment I've read about this game so far is that it lacks one thing: an attachment that links directly to your brain so that you can keep playing while showering and sleeping. I call Matt at work to say things like "Have we looked for Nirnroot in Bravil?" and "How do you feel about goblin-made armor?" We're totally obsessed.
Let me tell an anecdote to illustrate the level of obsession that we're talking about here. I was running errands today and was sitting at a stoplight in a really pretty area of Austin that's all hilly and green. I looked out of my car window and noticed that the grass was full of wildflowers, some weird weeds, and a bunch of small shrubs. And do you know what I thought? I thought "I wonder what magical properties those plants have."
1. killed a wild boar with his fists,
2. gotten sucked into a painting,
3. been bitten by a vampire,
4. been struck by lightning,
AND
5. chased down a dinosaur.
Did I mention this all took place in Oblivion? And by "Oblivion" I mean "the reason that I'm going to fail out of law school". Seriously, I think the most accurate comment I've read about this game so far is that it lacks one thing: an attachment that links directly to your brain so that you can keep playing while showering and sleeping. I call Matt at work to say things like "Have we looked for Nirnroot in Bravil?" and "How do you feel about goblin-made armor?" We're totally obsessed.
Let me tell an anecdote to illustrate the level of obsession that we're talking about here. I was running errands today and was sitting at a stoplight in a really pretty area of Austin that's all hilly and green. I looked out of my car window and noticed that the grass was full of wildflowers, some weird weeds, and a bunch of small shrubs. And do you know what I thought? I thought "I wonder what magical properties those plants have."
Monday, April 10, 2006
A Sordid Tale
Sometimes life has a strange serendipity; unlikely choices and the tides of fate collide, with extraordinary and wonderful results. On the other hand, sometimes life gives you the opposite of that, and what should have been nothing turns into something awful. One particular example of the latter phenomenon occured on the eve of my friend Dean's wedding. As the title of this post notes, it's a sordid tale indeed - in fact, the story I'm about to recount is so scandalous that it's ruined any hopes my best friend Mahan had of venturing into politics.
Okay, so maybe she never had any intentions of going into politics. But if she had, they would now be dashed.
A few days before Dean & Crystal's wedding, which would take place in Dallas, Mahan drove up to Austin from Houston so that she, Matt and I could take one car to Dallas for the wedding. At some point we stopped at Erin's - I think because she was cat-sitting Neville - but maybe we were just hanging out. Mahan and I couldn't help but notice that Erin had a Playboy on her coffee table. (See? I told you this was a sordid tale.) Erin, who at the time was working at Starbuck's, explained that she and a friend had bought Playboy because the theme of the issue was "the Girls of Starbuck's" and supposedly featured real Starbuck's employees, and they wanted to see whether the pictures were actually Starbuck's employees. Erin then told us that the girls didn't look like baristas at all. Here's where the bad choices begin: somehow it was decided that Mahan and I should take the Playboy with us so that we could look at the pictures.
Mahan was the driver on the trip to Dallas, and Matt spent most of the trip sleeping. Have I mentioned that the drive to Dallas is the Worst Drive Ever? Well, it is. Other than the possibility of picking up a Dr.Pepper made with real sugar, the trip has almost no redeeming qualities. About halfway through the trip Mahan and I started to get bored. We started daring each other to do things, which was boring until we remembered the Playboy. Then we spent about half an hour playing a game where Mahan would match the speed of an unsuspecting car next to us, and I would hold up a picture of a naked lady to the passengers in that car.
(I wanted to point out that this happened BEFORE I started law school, because if someone suggested this now, I would promptly explain about negligence law and how creating a distraction on the road is a bad idea. But back when this story took place I was young, innocent, and ignorant about tort law.)
When we got tired of holding up dirty pictures for other cars and trying to shock them, we came up with a better plan - let's take crazy pictures!! In yet another twist of fate, neither Mahan nor the Giani-Sherrill's had brought along a digital camera, but for some reason we had a disposable camera. (I really have no idea why.) We had to stop for gas anyway, and while Matt went inside to get snacks I took some Very Interesting pictures of Mahan, some of which involved the Playboy. Then we decided to stop wasting film, and the rest of the car trip proceeded normally.
Dean & Crystal's wedding was wonderful, and, since we'd left plenty of film on the disposable camera, Matt took a lot of wedding-related shots. After we'd all seen Dean and Crystal off with the ceremonial flinging of rose petals, a group of people decided to go the Cheesecake Factory. Matt had more items than usual so I checked to make sure he had everything. Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Rachel's lip gloss? Check. Then I asked about the camera. Matt got a little flustered, and then realized he'd left it in the room where the wedding took place.
This might not have been a huge problem, were it not for the fact that each table at the wedding had a disposable camera on it. You know, the kind that you put on the table so that guests can take pictures of each other? Mahan and I ran back into the main room when we realized Matt had forgotten the camera, and were horrified to see that ALL of the disposable cameras- including, presumably, the Camera in Question (CiQ) - were grouped together in the corner while the roomed was cleaned up. And they were all the same brand. And the same color.
Okay, so maybe I was a little entertained, in addition to being horrified. But Mahan was seriously horrified.
We pored over the cameras until we noticed a slight difference in the packaging of just one camera, as if it had been purchased at a different time. We snatched it up, praying that it was the CiQ.
I got the pictures back about a week after the wedding, and called Mahan to let her know that everything was in the clear and we had the CiQ. I thought that was the end up the issue until a few months later, when some North Austin locations of a certain drugstore chain got in trouble with the law because their teenage employees were making personal copies for themselves when customers brought in photos. The reports implied that these were male employees copying dirty an semi-dirty pics. Guess where I'd had the film from the CiQ developed . . .
On another side note, who takes serious dirty pictures and then has them developed at a store? Get a digital camera, or take Polaroids or something. Invest in a color printer like a normal person.
I never heard what happened with the litigation about the photos and the news sort of stopped caring, but I'm fully convinced that in some evidence file in the Travis County DA's office, there's a picture of Mahan pretending to lick a picture of a humungous boob. That should be the moral of this story: if you pretend to lick a picture of a humungous boob, don't allow the incident to be documented.
Okay, so maybe she never had any intentions of going into politics. But if she had, they would now be dashed.
A few days before Dean & Crystal's wedding, which would take place in Dallas, Mahan drove up to Austin from Houston so that she, Matt and I could take one car to Dallas for the wedding. At some point we stopped at Erin's - I think because she was cat-sitting Neville - but maybe we were just hanging out. Mahan and I couldn't help but notice that Erin had a Playboy on her coffee table. (See? I told you this was a sordid tale.) Erin, who at the time was working at Starbuck's, explained that she and a friend had bought Playboy because the theme of the issue was "the Girls of Starbuck's" and supposedly featured real Starbuck's employees, and they wanted to see whether the pictures were actually Starbuck's employees. Erin then told us that the girls didn't look like baristas at all. Here's where the bad choices begin: somehow it was decided that Mahan and I should take the Playboy with us so that we could look at the pictures.
Mahan was the driver on the trip to Dallas, and Matt spent most of the trip sleeping. Have I mentioned that the drive to Dallas is the Worst Drive Ever? Well, it is. Other than the possibility of picking up a Dr.Pepper made with real sugar, the trip has almost no redeeming qualities. About halfway through the trip Mahan and I started to get bored. We started daring each other to do things, which was boring until we remembered the Playboy. Then we spent about half an hour playing a game where Mahan would match the speed of an unsuspecting car next to us, and I would hold up a picture of a naked lady to the passengers in that car.
(I wanted to point out that this happened BEFORE I started law school, because if someone suggested this now, I would promptly explain about negligence law and how creating a distraction on the road is a bad idea. But back when this story took place I was young, innocent, and ignorant about tort law.)
When we got tired of holding up dirty pictures for other cars and trying to shock them, we came up with a better plan - let's take crazy pictures!! In yet another twist of fate, neither Mahan nor the Giani-Sherrill's had brought along a digital camera, but for some reason we had a disposable camera. (I really have no idea why.) We had to stop for gas anyway, and while Matt went inside to get snacks I took some Very Interesting pictures of Mahan, some of which involved the Playboy. Then we decided to stop wasting film, and the rest of the car trip proceeded normally.
Dean & Crystal's wedding was wonderful, and, since we'd left plenty of film on the disposable camera, Matt took a lot of wedding-related shots. After we'd all seen Dean and Crystal off with the ceremonial flinging of rose petals, a group of people decided to go the Cheesecake Factory. Matt had more items than usual so I checked to make sure he had everything. Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Rachel's lip gloss? Check. Then I asked about the camera. Matt got a little flustered, and then realized he'd left it in the room where the wedding took place.
This might not have been a huge problem, were it not for the fact that each table at the wedding had a disposable camera on it. You know, the kind that you put on the table so that guests can take pictures of each other? Mahan and I ran back into the main room when we realized Matt had forgotten the camera, and were horrified to see that ALL of the disposable cameras- including, presumably, the Camera in Question (CiQ) - were grouped together in the corner while the roomed was cleaned up. And they were all the same brand. And the same color.
Okay, so maybe I was a little entertained, in addition to being horrified. But Mahan was seriously horrified.
We pored over the cameras until we noticed a slight difference in the packaging of just one camera, as if it had been purchased at a different time. We snatched it up, praying that it was the CiQ.
I got the pictures back about a week after the wedding, and called Mahan to let her know that everything was in the clear and we had the CiQ. I thought that was the end up the issue until a few months later, when some North Austin locations of a certain drugstore chain got in trouble with the law because their teenage employees were making personal copies for themselves when customers brought in photos. The reports implied that these were male employees copying dirty an semi-dirty pics. Guess where I'd had the film from the CiQ developed . . .
On another side note, who takes serious dirty pictures and then has them developed at a store? Get a digital camera, or take Polaroids or something. Invest in a color printer like a normal person.
I never heard what happened with the litigation about the photos and the news sort of stopped caring, but I'm fully convinced that in some evidence file in the Travis County DA's office, there's a picture of Mahan pretending to lick a picture of a humungous boob. That should be the moral of this story: if you pretend to lick a picture of a humungous boob, don't allow the incident to be documented.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Happy Friday!
A Chuck Norris fact to start your weekend:
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
the Post you knew was coming
Saturday night as we finally got into bed Matt asked me if I would set my alarm. Sure, I responded, how abotu for 10:30? I figured that would give him plenty of time. "Um, could you set it for a little earlier", he asked, "like, maybe 9:15?" I groaned, but complied. It was 3:30 in the morning - actually, it was 4:30 because of the time change - and I was going to have to get up in four hours in order to go stand in line outside Best Buy.
Are you beginning to suspect what this is about?
This past Friday evening, Matt had made his usual round of calls to Best Buy, Circuit City and the like, asking if they had any Xbox 360's. And Best Buy had informed him that they would be getting a shipment of a least 30 units in on Sunday morning and that it would be advertised in the Sunday morning paper. So you can understand the glee Matt felt as we went to bed Saturday night. If you can't, pretend you're about to get that fabulous dress/pair of concert tickets you've been jonesing for.
My alarm went off at 9:15 and I hit snooze, thinking that I had a few minutes. Did I mention that Best Buy opens at 11am? Anyway, in the fifteen minutes between snoozes Matt got completely dressed, so that when my alarm went off again at 9:30 he decided to go without me. He called a few minutes later.
"Hey!"
"Hey hon. Are you there? What's going on?"
"Well, there's no line yet. There are about four people waiting in their cars, but no one's in line. Do you want me to come pick you up? Are you ready?"
"Will you buy me a smoothie?"
"Suuure."
"Okay, you can come pick me up."
So I threw on some clothes and waited for Matt to come pick me up. Then we got a smoothie, and then we returned to Best Buy. By then it was probably 10:20, and the nerds of the world had indeed started lining up outside the still-closed store. Some Best Buy employees started going down the line and asking, "You here for the 360?" and then noting whether the person wanted the core system or the platinum system with a harddrive. Each person was given a voucher as the employees moved down the line.
"What are you here for?", they had gotten to the dude in front of us, who wanted a platinum system. Then it was our turn, and Matt explained what he wanted and gleefully accepted his voucher. The employees moved to the guy behind us in line, and had the following conversation:
"Sir, what are you here for?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you waiting in line for?"
"Oh - Turbotax!"
" . . . .Turbotax?"
"Well, yes. Do you not have Turbotax??"
*Trying not to laugh* "No, no , we do, it's just - this line is for people waiting for an Xbox 360. You don't have to wait in line for Turbotax. You can go ahead inside."
Seriously, I know that getting your taxes done on time is important, but who gets to Best Buy a half hour before it opens on a Sunday and thinks they need to wait in line? Who thinks that lining up outside Best Buy is normal?
Promptly at 11am they let the line inside and Matt finally obtained the object of his affection. So far he's been playing it fairly cool, except that every now and then he shouts out something like "I can watch a slideshow of all our pictures!!" or "I can play any music on the computer while playing video games!" He also gets really excited when Alan sends us messages.
Are you beginning to suspect what this is about?
This past Friday evening, Matt had made his usual round of calls to Best Buy, Circuit City and the like, asking if they had any Xbox 360's. And Best Buy had informed him that they would be getting a shipment of a least 30 units in on Sunday morning and that it would be advertised in the Sunday morning paper. So you can understand the glee Matt felt as we went to bed Saturday night. If you can't, pretend you're about to get that fabulous dress/pair of concert tickets you've been jonesing for.
My alarm went off at 9:15 and I hit snooze, thinking that I had a few minutes. Did I mention that Best Buy opens at 11am? Anyway, in the fifteen minutes between snoozes Matt got completely dressed, so that when my alarm went off again at 9:30 he decided to go without me. He called a few minutes later.
"Hey!"
"Hey hon. Are you there? What's going on?"
"Well, there's no line yet. There are about four people waiting in their cars, but no one's in line. Do you want me to come pick you up? Are you ready?"
"Will you buy me a smoothie?"
"Suuure."
"Okay, you can come pick me up."
So I threw on some clothes and waited for Matt to come pick me up. Then we got a smoothie, and then we returned to Best Buy. By then it was probably 10:20, and the nerds of the world had indeed started lining up outside the still-closed store. Some Best Buy employees started going down the line and asking, "You here for the 360?" and then noting whether the person wanted the core system or the platinum system with a harddrive. Each person was given a voucher as the employees moved down the line.
"What are you here for?", they had gotten to the dude in front of us, who wanted a platinum system. Then it was our turn, and Matt explained what he wanted and gleefully accepted his voucher. The employees moved to the guy behind us in line, and had the following conversation:
"Sir, what are you here for?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you waiting in line for?"
"Oh - Turbotax!"
" . . . .Turbotax?"
"Well, yes. Do you not have Turbotax??"
*Trying not to laugh* "No, no , we do, it's just - this line is for people waiting for an Xbox 360. You don't have to wait in line for Turbotax. You can go ahead inside."
Seriously, I know that getting your taxes done on time is important, but who gets to Best Buy a half hour before it opens on a Sunday and thinks they need to wait in line? Who thinks that lining up outside Best Buy is normal?
Promptly at 11am they let the line inside and Matt finally obtained the object of his affection. So far he's been playing it fairly cool, except that every now and then he shouts out something like "I can watch a slideshow of all our pictures!!" or "I can play any music on the computer while playing video games!" He also gets really excited when Alan sends us messages.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Reflections at Five AM/ Unadulterated Nonsence
Since when did law school classes start having midterms? This is really interfering with my "do nothing for the latter half of March" strategy.
What's with guys who flat-iron their hair? Seriously, I think it's kind of lame when I flat-iron my hair, and I'm a chick. Let your hair be free, Joe Perry of Aerosmith!
The weirdest thing I've ever heard is about a guy whose favorite band was Rush. I think I heard that from Erin. I can only listen to the lead singer of Rush for, like, three seconds without feeling an overwhelming desire for throat lozenges.
Tonight I was studying at a coffeeshop and, as a couple was leaving, I realized that the girl was someone I'd been friends with from high school. Before I noticed her face I had thought she was a soccer mom. And for the first time in my entire life I thought "Wow, looking younger is better than looking older". I know that sounds bitchy, but I don't mean it to be. This girl didn't look bad, just put together in a way that made her seem much older than she really is.
Did you know that my cat snores? Yep, he does. Tiny, barely audible little kitty snores. It's pretty freaking adorable.
Nothing makes you feel more Southern than baking a green bean casserole.
You know that deer-like animal that lives in Africa, that has the black stripe on its body? Well, as it turns out, that animal is a gazelle - not a gisele. A gisele is a brazilian supermodel. Also, if you make this mistake, your husband will laugh at you. Then you will convince him that you should split an apple strudel even though you know you'll be eating 85% of it, so it sort of evens out.
How does Prince decide on his facial hair? Does he have a facial hair stylist? And does he shave those weird patterns himself? If so, does he have some sort of guide that he uses to get the design so even?
What's with guys who flat-iron their hair? Seriously, I think it's kind of lame when I flat-iron my hair, and I'm a chick. Let your hair be free, Joe Perry of Aerosmith!
The weirdest thing I've ever heard is about a guy whose favorite band was Rush. I think I heard that from Erin. I can only listen to the lead singer of Rush for, like, three seconds without feeling an overwhelming desire for throat lozenges.
Tonight I was studying at a coffeeshop and, as a couple was leaving, I realized that the girl was someone I'd been friends with from high school. Before I noticed her face I had thought she was a soccer mom. And for the first time in my entire life I thought "Wow, looking younger is better than looking older". I know that sounds bitchy, but I don't mean it to be. This girl didn't look bad, just put together in a way that made her seem much older than she really is.
Did you know that my cat snores? Yep, he does. Tiny, barely audible little kitty snores. It's pretty freaking adorable.
Nothing makes you feel more Southern than baking a green bean casserole.
You know that deer-like animal that lives in Africa, that has the black stripe on its body? Well, as it turns out, that animal is a gazelle - not a gisele. A gisele is a brazilian supermodel. Also, if you make this mistake, your husband will laugh at you. Then you will convince him that you should split an apple strudel even though you know you'll be eating 85% of it, so it sort of evens out.
How does Prince decide on his facial hair? Does he have a facial hair stylist? And does he shave those weird patterns himself? If so, does he have some sort of guide that he uses to get the design so even?
Friday, March 17, 2006
Food, Glorious Food
Right now Baha'i's are in the middle of the annual Baha'i Fast, so I thought I would write a post about my favorite foods. (I know, it's sort of evil. I guess those of you who are fasting should wait to read this until after sunset.) Oh, and fair warning: the listed items are probably all going to be unhealthy and horrible for you in all sorts of ways. That's what makes them good . . . .
1. Dr. Pepper. I pretty much had to list this, right? Everyone is allowed a vice, and this is mine. I've heard all of the info about the evils of caffeine and carbonated drinks, but somehow I haven't managed to give up Dr. Pepper and those shiny red cans. Oooh, or the glass bottles with Dr. Pepper made from pure can sugar. Yum. I guess it's a Southern thing.
2. Plain Cheesecake from the Upper Crust Bakery. I swear to you, this heavenly concoction is worth every pair of pants that you can't fit into, every pound of fat that makes its home on your thighs. The cake itself is perfectly smooth and wonderful with just the slightest tastes of lemon and vanilla, and the crust is thick and crumbly and wonderful. Now that I'm writing about this, I think I might have to go buy one tomorrow.
3. HEB's juices. If you're a fan of real juice - as in, juice that's made from nothing more than fruit, water and sugar - then you'll love HEB's juices. I love the limeade, although it's pretty tangy and nto for the faint of heart. I'm also very fond of the tangerine juice, because it's all the deliciousness of clementines without the work of peeling. The only downside is that, obviously, you can't buy this at other grocery chains.
4. Fruit. I love it. I could eat fruit all day. Especially pineapple . . . .Mmmmm . . . . . Pineapple . . . .*Drools like Homer Simpson.
5. Barbeque chicken pizza. From pretty much anywhere.
6. Salad, drenched in some sort of delicious italian or vinagrette type dressing.
7. OMG SUSHI. The food of champions. Or maybe just of people who love seafood. Each piece of sushi is like a perfect, miniature meal where all the flavors mix in your mouth. It's probably the worst type of food you could ever eat on a blind date, since enjoying sushi involves shoving huge chunks of food into your mouth and (if you're me) spilling soy sauce all over. Seriously, there's not polite, demure way to eat sushi, which makes me love it even more.
8. The Dip. The Matts know what I'm referring to: some friend of my Mom's once made this dip (as in, like, chips and dip) that was absolutely delicious and subsequently gave my Mom the recipe who then passed the recipe on to me. I won't tell you what's in it because it sounds weird, but anyone who's actually tried it can attest to the fact that it's like crack. It's best with Wavy Lays. It's also especially good as a late night snack while playing video games.
9. The Mango-a-go-g0 smoothie from Jamba Juice.
10. Indian food. Especially Butter chicken.
11. And Finally . . . . The Cinnamocha from 360 Primo, my favorite coffeeshop, where I have spent countless hours wanting to beat myself to death with various legal textbooks.
So if you make it through the next few days, go out and reward yourself with one of these yummies. And if you decide on the Cinnamocha from 360 Primo then I'll probably see you there. I'll be the one with the huge book who looks like she's about to lose her mind.
1. Dr. Pepper. I pretty much had to list this, right? Everyone is allowed a vice, and this is mine. I've heard all of the info about the evils of caffeine and carbonated drinks, but somehow I haven't managed to give up Dr. Pepper and those shiny red cans. Oooh, or the glass bottles with Dr. Pepper made from pure can sugar. Yum. I guess it's a Southern thing.
2. Plain Cheesecake from the Upper Crust Bakery. I swear to you, this heavenly concoction is worth every pair of pants that you can't fit into, every pound of fat that makes its home on your thighs. The cake itself is perfectly smooth and wonderful with just the slightest tastes of lemon and vanilla, and the crust is thick and crumbly and wonderful. Now that I'm writing about this, I think I might have to go buy one tomorrow.
3. HEB's juices. If you're a fan of real juice - as in, juice that's made from nothing more than fruit, water and sugar - then you'll love HEB's juices. I love the limeade, although it's pretty tangy and nto for the faint of heart. I'm also very fond of the tangerine juice, because it's all the deliciousness of clementines without the work of peeling. The only downside is that, obviously, you can't buy this at other grocery chains.
4. Fruit. I love it. I could eat fruit all day. Especially pineapple . . . .Mmmmm . . . . . Pineapple . . . .*Drools like Homer Simpson.
5. Barbeque chicken pizza. From pretty much anywhere.
6. Salad, drenched in some sort of delicious italian or vinagrette type dressing.
7. OMG SUSHI. The food of champions. Or maybe just of people who love seafood. Each piece of sushi is like a perfect, miniature meal where all the flavors mix in your mouth. It's probably the worst type of food you could ever eat on a blind date, since enjoying sushi involves shoving huge chunks of food into your mouth and (if you're me) spilling soy sauce all over. Seriously, there's not polite, demure way to eat sushi, which makes me love it even more.
8. The Dip. The Matts know what I'm referring to: some friend of my Mom's once made this dip (as in, like, chips and dip) that was absolutely delicious and subsequently gave my Mom the recipe who then passed the recipe on to me. I won't tell you what's in it because it sounds weird, but anyone who's actually tried it can attest to the fact that it's like crack. It's best with Wavy Lays. It's also especially good as a late night snack while playing video games.
9. The Mango-a-go-g0 smoothie from Jamba Juice.
10. Indian food. Especially Butter chicken.
11. And Finally . . . . The Cinnamocha from 360 Primo, my favorite coffeeshop, where I have spent countless hours wanting to beat myself to death with various legal textbooks.
So if you make it through the next few days, go out and reward yourself with one of these yummies. And if you decide on the Cinnamocha from 360 Primo then I'll probably see you there. I'll be the one with the huge book who looks like she's about to lose her mind.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Is it just me, or are people getting dumber?
The news really outdid itself this week. First, Yanni is arrested for domestic abuse. Now, David Hasselhoff's wife is claiming he beats her. Is this some new trend? If you want to be a really lame musician you have to beat your wife? Should we send someone to monitor John Tesh?
And then there are the three dumbest people in Alabama, the half-wit firestarters. This one really baffles me. You think that it's reached the pinnacle of idiocy when you learn that these fucktards set FIVE churches on fire as some sort of prank. But then you get to the part where they set the other four in the next few weeks TO THROW POLICE OFF THEIR TRACKS. Has none of them ever seen an episode of CSI? More evidence = high likelihood of catching losers. Oh, and maybe they should have realized that IF THE POLICE AREN'T LOOKING FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO LEADS THEN STARTING MORE FIRES IS TRULY THE STUPIDEST PLAN EVER. EVER.
Obviously, I'm glad these assmonkeys have finally been caught. I'm just flabberghasted at the level of stupidity. And did I mention that Anna Nicole Smith just appeared before the United States Supreme Court (as a spectator, but still)? Oh yes, she did. Our Vickie Lynn is really coming up in the world (puns, many of them, intended).
And, of course, there's a lot of legitimate news going on, but a lot of it is dumb too. I'm too lazy to find this story again, but some sort of fatherhood group is trying to say that fathers shouldn't have to pay child support or something. I heard one of the guys talking on the news and he explained that this didn't hurt society at all because, if a woman got pregnant by someone who didn't want to pay anything, she could just put the kid up for adoption. OK, let me think this through . . . . you're against birth control . . . . you're against abortion . . . . you're against paying for children . . . . . and you want to put all of those kids up for adoption. Well, what a FANTASTIC solution!! I mean, since there are simply millions of people waiting to adopt children, that plan will work GREAT! And let's make sure to cut sex education out of schools and take away those evil condoms so that fourteen year olds are sinning as minimally as possible when they have sex, and then when they get pregnant they'll keep the babies, and their forty-year old uncles who actually fathered the babies when then sexually assaulted the girls won't want to pay, so we'll just put the inbred little bastards up for ADOPTION!! MY GOODNESS, THIS IS THE MOST WELL THOUGHT OUT PLAN EVER!! Oh, wait a second - NO IT'S NOT.
SOUTH DAKOTA, I AM TALKING TO YOU. I hope that the 44% of rape victims who are UNDER 18 find a way to kick your ass.
I think adoption is wonderful, but I have a problem with not providing any means at all for people - especially dumb teenagers - to avoid unplanned pregnancy (i.e. not educating them, refusing to give them condoms, etc) and then acting like adoption is some sort of magical catch-all that saves the rest of society's problems. The education thing especially bothers me. I've been amazed in my adult life to hear some of the things people think (examples: if you have sex while you're on your period it's impossible to get pregnant, the pill protects against STD's) about sexual health. But the majority of young people in America are never taught anything about the subject. I don't get the theory that education is dangerous. I mean, right now we're doing a crapass job by NOT teaching kids about sex and that doesn't seem to be working. Hey, maybe we should try educating them about the subject, and seeing if that helps them make informed decisions! Imagine.
We need to stop thinking of everything as sinful and evil. Maybe we should let God worry about judging other people and start actually trying to come up with solutions to our problems.
Too bad everyone is busy making elevator music and beating their spouses.
And then there are the three dumbest people in Alabama, the half-wit firestarters. This one really baffles me. You think that it's reached the pinnacle of idiocy when you learn that these fucktards set FIVE churches on fire as some sort of prank. But then you get to the part where they set the other four in the next few weeks TO THROW POLICE OFF THEIR TRACKS. Has none of them ever seen an episode of CSI? More evidence = high likelihood of catching losers. Oh, and maybe they should have realized that IF THE POLICE AREN'T LOOKING FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO LEADS THEN STARTING MORE FIRES IS TRULY THE STUPIDEST PLAN EVER. EVER.
Obviously, I'm glad these assmonkeys have finally been caught. I'm just flabberghasted at the level of stupidity. And did I mention that Anna Nicole Smith just appeared before the United States Supreme Court (as a spectator, but still)? Oh yes, she did. Our Vickie Lynn is really coming up in the world (puns, many of them, intended).
And, of course, there's a lot of legitimate news going on, but a lot of it is dumb too. I'm too lazy to find this story again, but some sort of fatherhood group is trying to say that fathers shouldn't have to pay child support or something. I heard one of the guys talking on the news and he explained that this didn't hurt society at all because, if a woman got pregnant by someone who didn't want to pay anything, she could just put the kid up for adoption. OK, let me think this through . . . . you're against birth control . . . . you're against abortion . . . . you're against paying for children . . . . . and you want to put all of those kids up for adoption. Well, what a FANTASTIC solution!! I mean, since there are simply millions of people waiting to adopt children, that plan will work GREAT! And let's make sure to cut sex education out of schools and take away those evil condoms so that fourteen year olds are sinning as minimally as possible when they have sex, and then when they get pregnant they'll keep the babies, and their forty-year old uncles who actually fathered the babies when then sexually assaulted the girls won't want to pay, so we'll just put the inbred little bastards up for ADOPTION!! MY GOODNESS, THIS IS THE MOST WELL THOUGHT OUT PLAN EVER!! Oh, wait a second - NO IT'S NOT.
SOUTH DAKOTA, I AM TALKING TO YOU. I hope that the 44% of rape victims who are UNDER 18 find a way to kick your ass.
I think adoption is wonderful, but I have a problem with not providing any means at all for people - especially dumb teenagers - to avoid unplanned pregnancy (i.e. not educating them, refusing to give them condoms, etc) and then acting like adoption is some sort of magical catch-all that saves the rest of society's problems. The education thing especially bothers me. I've been amazed in my adult life to hear some of the things people think (examples: if you have sex while you're on your period it's impossible to get pregnant, the pill protects against STD's) about sexual health. But the majority of young people in America are never taught anything about the subject. I don't get the theory that education is dangerous. I mean, right now we're doing a crapass job by NOT teaching kids about sex and that doesn't seem to be working. Hey, maybe we should try educating them about the subject, and seeing if that helps them make informed decisions! Imagine.
We need to stop thinking of everything as sinful and evil. Maybe we should let God worry about judging other people and start actually trying to come up with solutions to our problems.
Too bad everyone is busy making elevator music and beating their spouses.
Monday, March 06, 2006
She's ba-ack . . . . sort of
I went to bed last night with high expectations. Assault and Flattery had just wrapped and, sad though it was, I was looking forward to normalcy. I planned to wake up early for the Fast, fnish reading for class, go to class, maybe sit at a coffeeshop afterward studying.
Instead, I woke up sick.
I hate being sick and I'm losing my mind out of boredom. Despite how crappy I felt this morning, I honestly might have gotten up anyway if Matt hadn't taken my temperature to prove to me that I needed to rest. Did you know that there is absolutely nothing on television in the middle of the day?
Seriously, the Tony Danza show? Even I have standards.
Instead, I woke up sick.
I hate being sick and I'm losing my mind out of boredom. Despite how crappy I felt this morning, I honestly might have gotten up anyway if Matt hadn't taken my temperature to prove to me that I needed to rest. Did you know that there is absolutely nothing on television in the middle of the day?
Seriously, the Tony Danza show? Even I have standards.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Next time will be about Sony, I promise
I know you've all been drooling in anticipation to hear me bitch about Sony, and I promise that post will materialize. But right now I need to talk about something else:
Race.
Intellectually, we all know that race is just a construct, but that doesn't make it any less of a bitch, does it? Right now I'm in this Constitutional Law class on race and gender discrimination (althought "in" is sort of a stretch, since I have trouble not skipping it). It's a fantastic class and I love my professor, but every time I go I end up wanting to kick someone. I was talking to Erin earlier this week about how this class is really demonstrating that there are people - lots of people - who've never really had a close friend that's different from them. There are all these people walking around who've never really tried to get out of their comfort zones, to experience hardship, or to try and understand other people. And if I'm saying this then you know it must be bad, because we all know that I'm extremely lazy and that my idea of going out of my comfort zone is studying in a new coffeeshop.
I was lucky because I was raised in a very diverse relgious community, made up of people from vere different racial, social and economic backgrounds. But what do you do if you aren't in that situation? What do you do if you live in a suburb that was originally developed to accommodate white-flight?
Part of the reason this class is so troubling is because, legally, it's hard to find good answers. For starters, it's hard to walk the line between letting courts have total control in one area without opening the door for some potentially crazy court to have control in another area.
Beyond that, how much can we (legally) take away choice? If young couples want to live in the suburbs for completely race-neutral reasons, like good school systems, how to do you justify forcing them to do something different without possibly creating racial animosity that wasn't there before?
And, most troubling, how the heck do you get anybody to care about this when most people think that everything is great?
Earlier today I saw an episode of Malcolm and the Middle that got me thinking about all of this again. In the episode, Lois (the mom) has finally been hired back at the grocery store where she worked, and Malcolm has gotten a job there too. Lois is on probation and she can't get fired because the family needs the money. The store sets up a new display for some brand of malt liquor, and the display is a cardboard cutout of an African-American guy in what looks like a janitor's outfit, holding a mop in one hand and a case of malt liquor in the other. The cutout is smiling and his nametag says "Slappy".
Lois freaks out as soon as it goes up because of how offensive and racist it is. So she steals it. But the store gets another cut-out and asks Malcolm to set it up, which he does just to piss off his mom. After the conflict between the two of them goes on for a little while, Lois decides that she has to do what's right. She grabs the cutout and starts to march out of the store.
As Lois is leaving, the sweet and soft-spoken lady who works in the checkout line next to her says "Oh, thank goodness you're getting rid of that thing!". "Yes", Lois replies, "I just couldn't take it anymore." "I know!", said the lady, "Ever since that thing went up, there have been so many black people coming to the store." Lois sort of stares at her with this shocked look on her face, and then the lady continues with something like, "We just aren't that kind of store, and I'm so glad that thing is leaving so that they stop coming around here."
Of course, after that, Lois then decides to leave the cutout. But I thought the storylinne was interesting. And telling: it seems like there aren't a lot of good options when it comes to current state of race relations in America. Whether you take or leave the cutout, it's still racist. There's no way to fix the problem without changing people's minds, and forcing people to act is almost impossible.
*Sigh. I didn't mean for this to be depressing. I guess I'm just a little frustrated. I should've just ranted about Sony.
Race.
Intellectually, we all know that race is just a construct, but that doesn't make it any less of a bitch, does it? Right now I'm in this Constitutional Law class on race and gender discrimination (althought "in" is sort of a stretch, since I have trouble not skipping it). It's a fantastic class and I love my professor, but every time I go I end up wanting to kick someone. I was talking to Erin earlier this week about how this class is really demonstrating that there are people - lots of people - who've never really had a close friend that's different from them. There are all these people walking around who've never really tried to get out of their comfort zones, to experience hardship, or to try and understand other people. And if I'm saying this then you know it must be bad, because we all know that I'm extremely lazy and that my idea of going out of my comfort zone is studying in a new coffeeshop.
I was lucky because I was raised in a very diverse relgious community, made up of people from vere different racial, social and economic backgrounds. But what do you do if you aren't in that situation? What do you do if you live in a suburb that was originally developed to accommodate white-flight?
Part of the reason this class is so troubling is because, legally, it's hard to find good answers. For starters, it's hard to walk the line between letting courts have total control in one area without opening the door for some potentially crazy court to have control in another area.
Beyond that, how much can we (legally) take away choice? If young couples want to live in the suburbs for completely race-neutral reasons, like good school systems, how to do you justify forcing them to do something different without possibly creating racial animosity that wasn't there before?
And, most troubling, how the heck do you get anybody to care about this when most people think that everything is great?
Earlier today I saw an episode of Malcolm and the Middle that got me thinking about all of this again. In the episode, Lois (the mom) has finally been hired back at the grocery store where she worked, and Malcolm has gotten a job there too. Lois is on probation and she can't get fired because the family needs the money. The store sets up a new display for some brand of malt liquor, and the display is a cardboard cutout of an African-American guy in what looks like a janitor's outfit, holding a mop in one hand and a case of malt liquor in the other. The cutout is smiling and his nametag says "Slappy".
Lois freaks out as soon as it goes up because of how offensive and racist it is. So she steals it. But the store gets another cut-out and asks Malcolm to set it up, which he does just to piss off his mom. After the conflict between the two of them goes on for a little while, Lois decides that she has to do what's right. She grabs the cutout and starts to march out of the store.
As Lois is leaving, the sweet and soft-spoken lady who works in the checkout line next to her says "Oh, thank goodness you're getting rid of that thing!". "Yes", Lois replies, "I just couldn't take it anymore." "I know!", said the lady, "Ever since that thing went up, there have been so many black people coming to the store." Lois sort of stares at her with this shocked look on her face, and then the lady continues with something like, "We just aren't that kind of store, and I'm so glad that thing is leaving so that they stop coming around here."
Of course, after that, Lois then decides to leave the cutout. But I thought the storylinne was interesting. And telling: it seems like there aren't a lot of good options when it comes to current state of race relations in America. Whether you take or leave the cutout, it's still racist. There's no way to fix the problem without changing people's minds, and forcing people to act is almost impossible.
*Sigh. I didn't mean for this to be depressing. I guess I'm just a little frustrated. I should've just ranted about Sony.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
I got your Final Fantasy right here
For the past six months I've been biting my tongue so that I don't write a long, rambly post about how much Matt & I hate Sony. I could go through and name all of the reasons that we feel this way but I'm sure you have better things to do. However, just now I was watching a program on PBS about video games, and this Smarmy Bastard Sony game developer was all "Sony is such a great company and here we all love video games and it isn't about the money like it is at Microsoft." Oh, really? Is that why you just hired a new CFO to reorganize the company? Because you love games so much? Silly me, I thought it was because Sony was a huge, sprawling corporation run by a bunch of rich people who want to make a lot of money.
Then Smarmy Bastard #2 was all "People love Sony, but everybody hates Microsoft. Sony is a great company to work for." Guess what asshat: LOTS of people don't like Sony. You know, like the people who got viruses bc your CD's were putting spyware on their computers. Or the people who refuse to buy Sony TV's since they're only compatible with other Sony products. Sure, lots of people hate Microsoft. But just as many people hate Sony. You are BOTH huge, sprawling corporations whose job is to make money. At least Microsoft is honest about. You should stop kidding yourself.
I hope that Bill Gates DOES have Halo 3 ready so that he can release it the same day that you start selling the PS3.
Then Smarmy Bastard #2 was all "People love Sony, but everybody hates Microsoft. Sony is a great company to work for." Guess what asshat: LOTS of people don't like Sony. You know, like the people who got viruses bc your CD's were putting spyware on their computers. Or the people who refuse to buy Sony TV's since they're only compatible with other Sony products. Sure, lots of people hate Microsoft. But just as many people hate Sony. You are BOTH huge, sprawling corporations whose job is to make money. At least Microsoft is honest about. You should stop kidding yourself.
I hope that Bill Gates DOES have Halo 3 ready so that he can release it the same day that you start selling the PS3.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
This should be called "Erin nails claw on the rocky beach" but no one would get it
I'm very lucky in that my two best friends from high school, Erin & Krissa, are both still in my life. The three of us have always been very different. Very Different. I think that makes for a great friendship. We were, however, united in out totally inappopriate love of a beautiful man named Gordon Sumner, who is more commonly known as Sting.
One time we were driving somewhere (probably to Cafe Artiste) when Fields of Gold came on the radio. We were singing along when someone asked what Sting says at the end of the line "We walked in fields of ---". Amazingly, none of us knew. We listed harder the next time Sting sang that line and still couldn't tell, so Krissa whipped out her Sting CD. (Okay, it might have been Erin. I don't remember who was driving, but we made Krissa drive a lot, so let's just say we were in her car.)
We put the song on repeat. "It sounds like whatever they walked in begins with the letter 'b' or the letter 'h'". I was given the task of leaning my ear to the speaker while we played it again, and I confirmed that the mystery word did indeed begin with one of those two letters. So we all started coming up with suggestions.
"Maybe it's 'we walked in field of holly'?" But that suggestion was quickly rejected when someone (probably Erin) logically pointed out that holly is very sharp and pokey and it would NOT be pleasant to frolic/get it on in a field of holly. It had to be some sort of plant, we thought, but city girls don't know much about plants.
Then someone - and I will keep this part anonymous to protect the guilty party - suggested that perhaps Sting was walking in fields of Bali. You know, like that country that exports all the gold. It sounded more reasonable than anything else.
Later I mentioned this puzzle and the amswer we'd come up with to my Mom, who doesn't even like Sting very much, and it was probably only about five seconds before she said, "Um, isn't he saying 'we walked in fields of BARLEY'?" Ohhhh. Like the wheat.
(I just googled "Bali" and learned that their primary export is textiles. Save that information for Jeopardy)
One time we were driving somewhere (probably to Cafe Artiste) when Fields of Gold came on the radio. We were singing along when someone asked what Sting says at the end of the line "We walked in fields of ---". Amazingly, none of us knew. We listed harder the next time Sting sang that line and still couldn't tell, so Krissa whipped out her Sting CD. (Okay, it might have been Erin. I don't remember who was driving, but we made Krissa drive a lot, so let's just say we were in her car.)
We put the song on repeat. "It sounds like whatever they walked in begins with the letter 'b' or the letter 'h'". I was given the task of leaning my ear to the speaker while we played it again, and I confirmed that the mystery word did indeed begin with one of those two letters. So we all started coming up with suggestions.
"Maybe it's 'we walked in field of holly'?" But that suggestion was quickly rejected when someone (probably Erin) logically pointed out that holly is very sharp and pokey and it would NOT be pleasant to frolic/get it on in a field of holly. It had to be some sort of plant, we thought, but city girls don't know much about plants.
Then someone - and I will keep this part anonymous to protect the guilty party - suggested that perhaps Sting was walking in fields of Bali. You know, like that country that exports all the gold. It sounded more reasonable than anything else.
Later I mentioned this puzzle and the amswer we'd come up with to my Mom, who doesn't even like Sting very much, and it was probably only about five seconds before she said, "Um, isn't he saying 'we walked in fields of BARLEY'?" Ohhhh. Like the wheat.
(I just googled "Bali" and learned that their primary export is textiles. Save that information for Jeopardy)
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Another example . . . .
. . . of how law school is a bizarre and surreal experience:
You can actually, with your own ears, hear someone begin a sentence with "From what I have read about the African-Americans . . ."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You can actually, with your own ears, hear someone begin a sentence with "From what I have read about the African-Americans . . ."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Saturday, January 14, 2006
They ALL need to go on Dr. Phil
So I love Lord of the Rings (LotR), both the books and the movies. But as I'm watching Return of the King for the eight millionth time, I'm realizing how much simpler some parts would have been if the characters were a little better at communicating. Somehow responding to an idea with nothing but a dramatic look doesn't really convey much information. Let me give you an example of a conversation that could have made certain episodes a lot easier:
Frodo: So, yeah, that's pretty much the deal. This ring is making me so crazy that all I can do at crucial moments is fall down, my overly affectionate gardener is pretty much keeping the shit together, and this creepy guy is our guide.
Faramir: Duuuude, that's crazy! I mean, seriously! You guys are actually going to Mordor?
Frodo: Well, we've already come all this way, so, you know . . . why not?
Faramir: How the hell are you guys getting there?
Frodo: I'm not sure on the details, but the creepy dude knows this way to get in. It's like, through the mountains up these stairs and shit.
Faramir: *Dramatic Look*
Frodo: What? What?
Faramir: I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I think I should warn you that there is a huge fucking spider that lives up there and you need to stay the heck out of the caves.
See how that went? See how much easier the whole thing could have been if Frodo had known not to go in the caves? He would have realized that Gollum was screwing him over before the whole giant spider incident. Here's another time that a little give and take could have helped everybody out:
Aragorn: I'm gonna go wander around this weird rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure!
Aragorn: Okay, I trust you, but you really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be!
Aragorn: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses.
Was that so hard?? Is it that difficult to give people proper warning? I think the problem is that all the characters are men. (I'm sort of kidding) But that might not be a bad thing - imagine if Aragorn was a girl:
Aragornia: I'm going to go wander around this rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure! Can we see you naked?
Aragornia: In your dreams. Anyway, you guys really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be! Can we see you naked??
Aragornia: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses. Are you guys even listening? You never listen to me. I saved your sorry butts in the forest and I brought you all the way here, I had to listen to your whining for days, and you can't even lift your pinkie finger to try and make things a little easier for me. I mean, did you even take out the trash? It's just never enough for you guys, is it . . . *Rant continues*
And, Nikki, what do you think of the name "Aragornia"? Shall I suggest it to Jub & Brian?
Frodo: So, yeah, that's pretty much the deal. This ring is making me so crazy that all I can do at crucial moments is fall down, my overly affectionate gardener is pretty much keeping the shit together, and this creepy guy is our guide.
Faramir: Duuuude, that's crazy! I mean, seriously! You guys are actually going to Mordor?
Frodo: Well, we've already come all this way, so, you know . . . why not?
Faramir: How the hell are you guys getting there?
Frodo: I'm not sure on the details, but the creepy dude knows this way to get in. It's like, through the mountains up these stairs and shit.
Faramir: *Dramatic Look*
Frodo: What? What?
Faramir: I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I think I should warn you that there is a huge fucking spider that lives up there and you need to stay the heck out of the caves.
See how that went? See how much easier the whole thing could have been if Frodo had known not to go in the caves? He would have realized that Gollum was screwing him over before the whole giant spider incident. Here's another time that a little give and take could have helped everybody out:
Aragorn: I'm gonna go wander around this weird rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure!
Aragorn: Okay, I trust you, but you really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be!
Aragorn: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses.
Was that so hard?? Is it that difficult to give people proper warning? I think the problem is that all the characters are men. (I'm sort of kidding) But that might not be a bad thing - imagine if Aragorn was a girl:
Aragornia: I'm going to go wander around this rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure! Can we see you naked?
Aragornia: In your dreams. Anyway, you guys really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be! Can we see you naked??
Aragornia: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses. Are you guys even listening? You never listen to me. I saved your sorry butts in the forest and I brought you all the way here, I had to listen to your whining for days, and you can't even lift your pinkie finger to try and make things a little easier for me. I mean, did you even take out the trash? It's just never enough for you guys, is it . . . *Rant continues*
And, Nikki, what do you think of the name "Aragornia"? Shall I suggest it to Jub & Brian?
Monday, January 09, 2006
It was from a "Svetlana Munsh"
In other news, I just got the best spam/virus email ever at my hotmail address. Most of them have address lines that talk about coupons or penile enlargements, but this one had an address line that just said "I want Canada Man".
Tis' the Season
The post-holiday season is a great time to shop because of all the sales. And these past few weeks have been particularly great for me to shop because I'm on winter break. Therefore, I thought I'd post about my current product obsessions, sort of Oprah-style. Yes, it's vapid, but I really need to give my brain a rest.
Current Obsessions:
1. My new Dove Fresh Original Solid deoderant. I've been on a deoderant quest for the past few years, ever since I realized that Old Spice makes a man's deoderant that's perfect because it's both clear and in stick form, versus that normal clear goo that you ooze out in clicks. This means you get the invisiility of a gel without having to let the deoderant dry on your underarms dry for like two hours (any girl who's used gel deoderant knows what I'm talking about). I did find a girl's deoderant that's clear and in stick form, but it sucked. It did nothing form me and by the end of a hot day I would stink. I gave up on the clear gelstick and, last time I was at the store, decided to just grab something. The Dove that I bought on a whim isn't clear, but it is the softest, best-smelling deoderant ever; it smells like clean clothes and jasmine. I even wore it without any perfume one day and more than once I was complimented and told that I smelled really nice.
2. Amazing Grace products. This is an old obsession. I usually wear this fragrance in the summer bc it's really light, but the eighty degree weather prompted me to bring it back. I love all of the products - the perfume, the body wash, the lotion.
3. Epicurious.com. This isn't really a product but it's awesome. They have tons of recipes and one of the best websites I've ever used in terms of the way they have their searches and stuff set up. My only complaint is that the collection of Indian recipes is small and repetitive.
4. The Chi hair-straightening iron. Ever since Erin - whose opinion I take as gold - told me about how the Chi changed her life, I've been coveting it. And now I can say without any hesitation that it is worth every penny. It literally cuts the time it takes to straighten your hair in half, and afterwards your hair is all soft and smooth. Seriously, so far worth every penny. And FYI, they just started selling it at Bed Bath & Beyond, so you can use those 20% coupons they're always mailing out to save a bunch of money on it.
5. Scarves. Tons of 'em. The warms ones are on hold since, you know, it's eighty degrees out, but I'm confident that we'll soon make it down to a brisk 65 degrees and I can break them out again. And they're all on sale for like $5.
6. Fable: the Lost Chapters. Omg I can't get enough of this game. "Look, it's the chicken chaser!". This new version has all sorts of added content, some of which is hysterical (read: sex with an old prostitute) but most of which are expansions on the overall storyline. This is probably my favorite game for the Xbox so far (please don't kill me Bungie) so I did a little dance when the expanded version came out.
7. Francesca's. I'm always telling people about this store because I can't get enough of it. It's the best place I've found to get fun, interesting, boutique-style clothes without giving up the financial equivalent of your firstborn child. They always have great, unique clothes and good sales where stuff goes 50% off. Last week I got this awesome blue flowy skirt on sale for $12, and a geisha-sytle dress (similar to one I saw at Banana Republic for like $80) for only $22. Both items were on sale but I still think that's pretty good. They also have TONS of jewellry in all styles and lotsof random fun stuff like purses, photo albums, lip gloss, etc. Their website is new and has almost no stuff on it, but I think it does list their locations.
8. LipFusion. I have no idea if this product really works, but my mind thinks it does. I get all happy everytime I put it on, which is totally lame because probably it doesn't make any difference.
9. White Barn Candle Co.'s Spiced Cider Candles. Someone gave this to us as a gift and I burn it every night. I realized that it smells just like my mother-in-law's kitchen so it also makes me feel all nice and home-y.
10. White Barn's filled candles in Fresh Baked Cookie Scent. This needs no description. It's exactlt what you imagine, but even more wonderful. This line from White Barn has a bunch of yummy food-scents like Marble Cake, Fresh Apple Pie, and Hot Mocha. All of the White Barn products are available at Bath & Body Works.
11. Last but not least, Madonna's Latest. I don't usually like dance music because it's repetitive and pointless, full of obnoxious sound effects and girls with baby-voices. Dance music by Madonna, however, is different. I love love love this album.
Current Obsessions:
1. My new Dove Fresh Original Solid deoderant. I've been on a deoderant quest for the past few years, ever since I realized that Old Spice makes a man's deoderant that's perfect because it's both clear and in stick form, versus that normal clear goo that you ooze out in clicks. This means you get the invisiility of a gel without having to let the deoderant dry on your underarms dry for like two hours (any girl who's used gel deoderant knows what I'm talking about). I did find a girl's deoderant that's clear and in stick form, but it sucked. It did nothing form me and by the end of a hot day I would stink. I gave up on the clear gelstick and, last time I was at the store, decided to just grab something. The Dove that I bought on a whim isn't clear, but it is the softest, best-smelling deoderant ever; it smells like clean clothes and jasmine. I even wore it without any perfume one day and more than once I was complimented and told that I smelled really nice.
2. Amazing Grace products. This is an old obsession. I usually wear this fragrance in the summer bc it's really light, but the eighty degree weather prompted me to bring it back. I love all of the products - the perfume, the body wash, the lotion.
3. Epicurious.com. This isn't really a product but it's awesome. They have tons of recipes and one of the best websites I've ever used in terms of the way they have their searches and stuff set up. My only complaint is that the collection of Indian recipes is small and repetitive.
4. The Chi hair-straightening iron. Ever since Erin - whose opinion I take as gold - told me about how the Chi changed her life, I've been coveting it. And now I can say without any hesitation that it is worth every penny. It literally cuts the time it takes to straighten your hair in half, and afterwards your hair is all soft and smooth. Seriously, so far worth every penny. And FYI, they just started selling it at Bed Bath & Beyond, so you can use those 20% coupons they're always mailing out to save a bunch of money on it.
5. Scarves. Tons of 'em. The warms ones are on hold since, you know, it's eighty degrees out, but I'm confident that we'll soon make it down to a brisk 65 degrees and I can break them out again. And they're all on sale for like $5.
6. Fable: the Lost Chapters. Omg I can't get enough of this game. "Look, it's the chicken chaser!". This new version has all sorts of added content, some of which is hysterical (read: sex with an old prostitute) but most of which are expansions on the overall storyline. This is probably my favorite game for the Xbox so far (please don't kill me Bungie) so I did a little dance when the expanded version came out.
7. Francesca's. I'm always telling people about this store because I can't get enough of it. It's the best place I've found to get fun, interesting, boutique-style clothes without giving up the financial equivalent of your firstborn child. They always have great, unique clothes and good sales where stuff goes 50% off. Last week I got this awesome blue flowy skirt on sale for $12, and a geisha-sytle dress (similar to one I saw at Banana Republic for like $80) for only $22. Both items were on sale but I still think that's pretty good. They also have TONS of jewellry in all styles and lotsof random fun stuff like purses, photo albums, lip gloss, etc. Their website is new and has almost no stuff on it, but I think it does list their locations.
8. LipFusion. I have no idea if this product really works, but my mind thinks it does. I get all happy everytime I put it on, which is totally lame because probably it doesn't make any difference.
9. White Barn Candle Co.'s Spiced Cider Candles. Someone gave this to us as a gift and I burn it every night. I realized that it smells just like my mother-in-law's kitchen so it also makes me feel all nice and home-y.
10. White Barn's filled candles in Fresh Baked Cookie Scent. This needs no description. It's exactlt what you imagine, but even more wonderful. This line from White Barn has a bunch of yummy food-scents like Marble Cake, Fresh Apple Pie, and Hot Mocha. All of the White Barn products are available at Bath & Body Works.
11. Last but not least, Madonna's Latest. I don't usually like dance music because it's repetitive and pointless, full of obnoxious sound effects and girls with baby-voices. Dance music by Madonna, however, is different. I love love love this album.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Confessions, but not on a dance floor
Editor's Note: this post is about religion. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I've always been very hesitant when telling people that I don't drink alcohol because I'm a Baha'i. I guess that might surprise some people, because I've never really felt pressure to act differently and it doesn't bother me what anyone else - whether they are Baha'i or not - does with regard to the issue (barring situations of substance abuse). Even more important than any Baha'i belief about alcohol or drugs is the bedrock principle that no individual has any right to pass judgment on others. What other people are doing or not doing is totally irrelevant to your own spiritual development so just leave it alone:
"O Son of Being! How couldst thou forget thin own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others?" - Baha'i Writings.
Furthermore, life is all about perspective, and I think it's pretty presumptuous to even look at what someone else is doing as a "fault". The right attitude isn't "Mr.Q is doing X, which is a fault, but I won't worry about it bc it's not my place." Of course, this is very general and is based on my personal interpretation of the Baha'i writings.
Anyway, I've digressed. I'm often hesitant - when meeting someone new - to tell them that I don't drink bc I'm a Baha'i. And the reason is bc, when I do, I can often see the doors being slammed in my face. People have soooo many assumptions about people who don't drink. It's kind of an ironic situation: people assume that non-drinkers are judgmental assholes, so when they hear that I don't drink they pass judgment on me and shut me out. I don't have a problem with someone who disagrees with what I believe or with the way I live my life; I have a problem with people use one little thing as justification for refusing to get to know other people. Again, I'm totally generalizing here.
This has always sort of bothered me, because I hope that I'm not a judgmental asshole and that when a person gets to know me it wouldn't weird them out that I don't drink. A few days ago I was reading the transcript of a talk by a Baha'i scholar and he said something that caught my attention. He said that people who might not otherwise have a problem with the Baha'i Faith get very turned off by some of the Baha'i laws - for example, the not-drinking thing. He said that this was understandable, bc so many people who do follow religious laws act in a certain judgmental way, and when someone who's never met a Baha'i hears that we aren't supposed to drink he or she might think "well, this isn't any different. This religion is just like all the others." The point he made was what caught my eye: that the Baha'i laws are not like "all the others". Most religions have laws based on concepts like original sin, or sinfulness - we don't have this concept in the Baha'i Faith as a basic for our laws. The laws don't stem from some black and white notion of right or wrong, they're a guidebook on the way to live the most spiritually healthy life. Drinking is a good example: the reason we're not supposed to drink isn't because it invites satan into our hearts and is wicked and evil. It's bc we believe that human beings are unique in having higher rational and spiritual faculties, and that it's not healthy to engage in behavior that restricts your ability to utilize those faculties.
I'm very frustrated by people who make assumptions about me. But it's also weird to feel like you are biting your tongue to keep from speaking your truth bc you don't want to be judged. A few months ago I was speaking with a friend and had an interesting experience, which I will edit for clarity and anonymity. My friend, Ninja, said "I can't hang out with them bc they're so religious." I responded that I was religious and that didn't prevent us from being friends, and Ninja said, "Yeah, but they're like judgmental and born-again. Q even believes in praying every single day."
I don't remember what I said but it definitely wasn't "I believe in praying every single day." I felt so torn: I didn't want to make Ninja feel bad and I certainly didn't want Ninja's opinion of the Baha'i Faith to change, but at the same time, I very strongly believe in praying every day. And I think the only reason Ninja said that is bc in Ninja's mind, daily prayer was a proxy for a lot of other - more negative - religious practices.
I guess the test is to strike a balance between being obnoxious ("I'd like a soda because I don't every drink alcohol bc if my religion!!") and between being too hesitant. For me that's definitely a work in progress.
I've always been very hesitant when telling people that I don't drink alcohol because I'm a Baha'i. I guess that might surprise some people, because I've never really felt pressure to act differently and it doesn't bother me what anyone else - whether they are Baha'i or not - does with regard to the issue (barring situations of substance abuse). Even more important than any Baha'i belief about alcohol or drugs is the bedrock principle that no individual has any right to pass judgment on others. What other people are doing or not doing is totally irrelevant to your own spiritual development so just leave it alone:
"O Son of Being! How couldst thou forget thin own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others?" - Baha'i Writings.
Furthermore, life is all about perspective, and I think it's pretty presumptuous to even look at what someone else is doing as a "fault". The right attitude isn't "Mr.Q is doing X, which is a fault, but I won't worry about it bc it's not my place." Of course, this is very general and is based on my personal interpretation of the Baha'i writings.
Anyway, I've digressed. I'm often hesitant - when meeting someone new - to tell them that I don't drink bc I'm a Baha'i. And the reason is bc, when I do, I can often see the doors being slammed in my face. People have soooo many assumptions about people who don't drink. It's kind of an ironic situation: people assume that non-drinkers are judgmental assholes, so when they hear that I don't drink they pass judgment on me and shut me out. I don't have a problem with someone who disagrees with what I believe or with the way I live my life; I have a problem with people use one little thing as justification for refusing to get to know other people. Again, I'm totally generalizing here.
This has always sort of bothered me, because I hope that I'm not a judgmental asshole and that when a person gets to know me it wouldn't weird them out that I don't drink. A few days ago I was reading the transcript of a talk by a Baha'i scholar and he said something that caught my attention. He said that people who might not otherwise have a problem with the Baha'i Faith get very turned off by some of the Baha'i laws - for example, the not-drinking thing. He said that this was understandable, bc so many people who do follow religious laws act in a certain judgmental way, and when someone who's never met a Baha'i hears that we aren't supposed to drink he or she might think "well, this isn't any different. This religion is just like all the others." The point he made was what caught my eye: that the Baha'i laws are not like "all the others". Most religions have laws based on concepts like original sin, or sinfulness - we don't have this concept in the Baha'i Faith as a basic for our laws. The laws don't stem from some black and white notion of right or wrong, they're a guidebook on the way to live the most spiritually healthy life. Drinking is a good example: the reason we're not supposed to drink isn't because it invites satan into our hearts and is wicked and evil. It's bc we believe that human beings are unique in having higher rational and spiritual faculties, and that it's not healthy to engage in behavior that restricts your ability to utilize those faculties.
I'm very frustrated by people who make assumptions about me. But it's also weird to feel like you are biting your tongue to keep from speaking your truth bc you don't want to be judged. A few months ago I was speaking with a friend and had an interesting experience, which I will edit for clarity and anonymity. My friend, Ninja, said "I can't hang out with them bc they're so religious." I responded that I was religious and that didn't prevent us from being friends, and Ninja said, "Yeah, but they're like judgmental and born-again. Q even believes in praying every single day."
I don't remember what I said but it definitely wasn't "I believe in praying every single day." I felt so torn: I didn't want to make Ninja feel bad and I certainly didn't want Ninja's opinion of the Baha'i Faith to change, but at the same time, I very strongly believe in praying every day. And I think the only reason Ninja said that is bc in Ninja's mind, daily prayer was a proxy for a lot of other - more negative - religious practices.
I guess the test is to strike a balance between being obnoxious ("I'd like a soda because I don't every drink alcohol bc if my religion!!") and between being too hesitant. For me that's definitely a work in progress.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Stuart, you are right . . .
the pink did suck. I know that's not exactly what you said, but it really did suck. It's too cold outside for a hot pink background. We'll see how this navy works out.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)