. . . of how law school is a bizarre and surreal experience:
You can actually, with your own ears, hear someone begin a sentence with "From what I have read about the African-Americans . . ."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Saturday, January 14, 2006
They ALL need to go on Dr. Phil
So I love Lord of the Rings (LotR), both the books and the movies. But as I'm watching Return of the King for the eight millionth time, I'm realizing how much simpler some parts would have been if the characters were a little better at communicating. Somehow responding to an idea with nothing but a dramatic look doesn't really convey much information. Let me give you an example of a conversation that could have made certain episodes a lot easier:
Frodo: So, yeah, that's pretty much the deal. This ring is making me so crazy that all I can do at crucial moments is fall down, my overly affectionate gardener is pretty much keeping the shit together, and this creepy guy is our guide.
Faramir: Duuuude, that's crazy! I mean, seriously! You guys are actually going to Mordor?
Frodo: Well, we've already come all this way, so, you know . . . why not?
Faramir: How the hell are you guys getting there?
Frodo: I'm not sure on the details, but the creepy dude knows this way to get in. It's like, through the mountains up these stairs and shit.
Faramir: *Dramatic Look*
Frodo: What? What?
Faramir: I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I think I should warn you that there is a huge fucking spider that lives up there and you need to stay the heck out of the caves.
See how that went? See how much easier the whole thing could have been if Frodo had known not to go in the caves? He would have realized that Gollum was screwing him over before the whole giant spider incident. Here's another time that a little give and take could have helped everybody out:
Aragorn: I'm gonna go wander around this weird rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure!
Aragorn: Okay, I trust you, but you really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be!
Aragorn: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses.
Was that so hard?? Is it that difficult to give people proper warning? I think the problem is that all the characters are men. (I'm sort of kidding) But that might not be a bad thing - imagine if Aragorn was a girl:
Aragornia: I'm going to go wander around this rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure! Can we see you naked?
Aragornia: In your dreams. Anyway, you guys really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be! Can we see you naked??
Aragornia: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses. Are you guys even listening? You never listen to me. I saved your sorry butts in the forest and I brought you all the way here, I had to listen to your whining for days, and you can't even lift your pinkie finger to try and make things a little easier for me. I mean, did you even take out the trash? It's just never enough for you guys, is it . . . *Rant continues*
And, Nikki, what do you think of the name "Aragornia"? Shall I suggest it to Jub & Brian?
Frodo: So, yeah, that's pretty much the deal. This ring is making me so crazy that all I can do at crucial moments is fall down, my overly affectionate gardener is pretty much keeping the shit together, and this creepy guy is our guide.
Faramir: Duuuude, that's crazy! I mean, seriously! You guys are actually going to Mordor?
Frodo: Well, we've already come all this way, so, you know . . . why not?
Faramir: How the hell are you guys getting there?
Frodo: I'm not sure on the details, but the creepy dude knows this way to get in. It's like, through the mountains up these stairs and shit.
Faramir: *Dramatic Look*
Frodo: What? What?
Faramir: I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I think I should warn you that there is a huge fucking spider that lives up there and you need to stay the heck out of the caves.
See how that went? See how much easier the whole thing could have been if Frodo had known not to go in the caves? He would have realized that Gollum was screwing him over before the whole giant spider incident. Here's another time that a little give and take could have helped everybody out:
Aragorn: I'm gonna go wander around this weird rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure!
Aragorn: Okay, I trust you, but you really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be!
Aragorn: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses.
Was that so hard?? Is it that difficult to give people proper warning? I think the problem is that all the characters are men. (I'm sort of kidding) But that might not be a bad thing - imagine if Aragorn was a girl:
Aragornia: I'm going to go wander around this rock formation and look for some hair gel. Are you guys okay here?
Hobbits: Sure! Can we see you naked?
Aragornia: In your dreams. Anyway, you guys really need to be careful. *Dramatic Look*
Hobbits: We will be! Can we see you naked??
Aragornia: I know you guys think that I'm just trying to scare you, but I'm serious. Those freaky hooded guys are really fast and if you do anything that could attract attention then will totally show up and wail on your asses. Are you guys even listening? You never listen to me. I saved your sorry butts in the forest and I brought you all the way here, I had to listen to your whining for days, and you can't even lift your pinkie finger to try and make things a little easier for me. I mean, did you even take out the trash? It's just never enough for you guys, is it . . . *Rant continues*
And, Nikki, what do you think of the name "Aragornia"? Shall I suggest it to Jub & Brian?
Monday, January 09, 2006
It was from a "Svetlana Munsh"
In other news, I just got the best spam/virus email ever at my hotmail address. Most of them have address lines that talk about coupons or penile enlargements, but this one had an address line that just said "I want Canada Man".
Tis' the Season
The post-holiday season is a great time to shop because of all the sales. And these past few weeks have been particularly great for me to shop because I'm on winter break. Therefore, I thought I'd post about my current product obsessions, sort of Oprah-style. Yes, it's vapid, but I really need to give my brain a rest.
Current Obsessions:
1. My new Dove Fresh Original Solid deoderant. I've been on a deoderant quest for the past few years, ever since I realized that Old Spice makes a man's deoderant that's perfect because it's both clear and in stick form, versus that normal clear goo that you ooze out in clicks. This means you get the invisiility of a gel without having to let the deoderant dry on your underarms dry for like two hours (any girl who's used gel deoderant knows what I'm talking about). I did find a girl's deoderant that's clear and in stick form, but it sucked. It did nothing form me and by the end of a hot day I would stink. I gave up on the clear gelstick and, last time I was at the store, decided to just grab something. The Dove that I bought on a whim isn't clear, but it is the softest, best-smelling deoderant ever; it smells like clean clothes and jasmine. I even wore it without any perfume one day and more than once I was complimented and told that I smelled really nice.
2. Amazing Grace products. This is an old obsession. I usually wear this fragrance in the summer bc it's really light, but the eighty degree weather prompted me to bring it back. I love all of the products - the perfume, the body wash, the lotion.
3. Epicurious.com. This isn't really a product but it's awesome. They have tons of recipes and one of the best websites I've ever used in terms of the way they have their searches and stuff set up. My only complaint is that the collection of Indian recipes is small and repetitive.
4. The Chi hair-straightening iron. Ever since Erin - whose opinion I take as gold - told me about how the Chi changed her life, I've been coveting it. And now I can say without any hesitation that it is worth every penny. It literally cuts the time it takes to straighten your hair in half, and afterwards your hair is all soft and smooth. Seriously, so far worth every penny. And FYI, they just started selling it at Bed Bath & Beyond, so you can use those 20% coupons they're always mailing out to save a bunch of money on it.
5. Scarves. Tons of 'em. The warms ones are on hold since, you know, it's eighty degrees out, but I'm confident that we'll soon make it down to a brisk 65 degrees and I can break them out again. And they're all on sale for like $5.
6. Fable: the Lost Chapters. Omg I can't get enough of this game. "Look, it's the chicken chaser!". This new version has all sorts of added content, some of which is hysterical (read: sex with an old prostitute) but most of which are expansions on the overall storyline. This is probably my favorite game for the Xbox so far (please don't kill me Bungie) so I did a little dance when the expanded version came out.
7. Francesca's. I'm always telling people about this store because I can't get enough of it. It's the best place I've found to get fun, interesting, boutique-style clothes without giving up the financial equivalent of your firstborn child. They always have great, unique clothes and good sales where stuff goes 50% off. Last week I got this awesome blue flowy skirt on sale for $12, and a geisha-sytle dress (similar to one I saw at Banana Republic for like $80) for only $22. Both items were on sale but I still think that's pretty good. They also have TONS of jewellry in all styles and lotsof random fun stuff like purses, photo albums, lip gloss, etc. Their website is new and has almost no stuff on it, but I think it does list their locations.
8. LipFusion. I have no idea if this product really works, but my mind thinks it does. I get all happy everytime I put it on, which is totally lame because probably it doesn't make any difference.
9. White Barn Candle Co.'s Spiced Cider Candles. Someone gave this to us as a gift and I burn it every night. I realized that it smells just like my mother-in-law's kitchen so it also makes me feel all nice and home-y.
10. White Barn's filled candles in Fresh Baked Cookie Scent. This needs no description. It's exactlt what you imagine, but even more wonderful. This line from White Barn has a bunch of yummy food-scents like Marble Cake, Fresh Apple Pie, and Hot Mocha. All of the White Barn products are available at Bath & Body Works.
11. Last but not least, Madonna's Latest. I don't usually like dance music because it's repetitive and pointless, full of obnoxious sound effects and girls with baby-voices. Dance music by Madonna, however, is different. I love love love this album.
Current Obsessions:
1. My new Dove Fresh Original Solid deoderant. I've been on a deoderant quest for the past few years, ever since I realized that Old Spice makes a man's deoderant that's perfect because it's both clear and in stick form, versus that normal clear goo that you ooze out in clicks. This means you get the invisiility of a gel without having to let the deoderant dry on your underarms dry for like two hours (any girl who's used gel deoderant knows what I'm talking about). I did find a girl's deoderant that's clear and in stick form, but it sucked. It did nothing form me and by the end of a hot day I would stink. I gave up on the clear gelstick and, last time I was at the store, decided to just grab something. The Dove that I bought on a whim isn't clear, but it is the softest, best-smelling deoderant ever; it smells like clean clothes and jasmine. I even wore it without any perfume one day and more than once I was complimented and told that I smelled really nice.
2. Amazing Grace products. This is an old obsession. I usually wear this fragrance in the summer bc it's really light, but the eighty degree weather prompted me to bring it back. I love all of the products - the perfume, the body wash, the lotion.
3. Epicurious.com. This isn't really a product but it's awesome. They have tons of recipes and one of the best websites I've ever used in terms of the way they have their searches and stuff set up. My only complaint is that the collection of Indian recipes is small and repetitive.
4. The Chi hair-straightening iron. Ever since Erin - whose opinion I take as gold - told me about how the Chi changed her life, I've been coveting it. And now I can say without any hesitation that it is worth every penny. It literally cuts the time it takes to straighten your hair in half, and afterwards your hair is all soft and smooth. Seriously, so far worth every penny. And FYI, they just started selling it at Bed Bath & Beyond, so you can use those 20% coupons they're always mailing out to save a bunch of money on it.
5. Scarves. Tons of 'em. The warms ones are on hold since, you know, it's eighty degrees out, but I'm confident that we'll soon make it down to a brisk 65 degrees and I can break them out again. And they're all on sale for like $5.
6. Fable: the Lost Chapters. Omg I can't get enough of this game. "Look, it's the chicken chaser!". This new version has all sorts of added content, some of which is hysterical (read: sex with an old prostitute) but most of which are expansions on the overall storyline. This is probably my favorite game for the Xbox so far (please don't kill me Bungie) so I did a little dance when the expanded version came out.
7. Francesca's. I'm always telling people about this store because I can't get enough of it. It's the best place I've found to get fun, interesting, boutique-style clothes without giving up the financial equivalent of your firstborn child. They always have great, unique clothes and good sales where stuff goes 50% off. Last week I got this awesome blue flowy skirt on sale for $12, and a geisha-sytle dress (similar to one I saw at Banana Republic for like $80) for only $22. Both items were on sale but I still think that's pretty good. They also have TONS of jewellry in all styles and lotsof random fun stuff like purses, photo albums, lip gloss, etc. Their website is new and has almost no stuff on it, but I think it does list their locations.
8. LipFusion. I have no idea if this product really works, but my mind thinks it does. I get all happy everytime I put it on, which is totally lame because probably it doesn't make any difference.
9. White Barn Candle Co.'s Spiced Cider Candles. Someone gave this to us as a gift and I burn it every night. I realized that it smells just like my mother-in-law's kitchen so it also makes me feel all nice and home-y.
10. White Barn's filled candles in Fresh Baked Cookie Scent. This needs no description. It's exactlt what you imagine, but even more wonderful. This line from White Barn has a bunch of yummy food-scents like Marble Cake, Fresh Apple Pie, and Hot Mocha. All of the White Barn products are available at Bath & Body Works.
11. Last but not least, Madonna's Latest. I don't usually like dance music because it's repetitive and pointless, full of obnoxious sound effects and girls with baby-voices. Dance music by Madonna, however, is different. I love love love this album.
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