I'm taking Artemis's advice and making more lists. It's very soothing, and it helps me forget that I have two exams left.
When my friend Hifa and I were teenagers, we got a kick out of the ugly clothes at Neiman Marcus. At the time I probably vowed never to shop there because of how ridiculous it was to spend $6,000 on a dress covered in sequined palm trees, but now that I'm older I have the wisdom not to throw the good fashion out with the bad. For the record: I am NOT advocating designer clothing prices. But I'm not denying that the constant rain has be seriously considering these. (Erin, say your worst. At least they aren't Uggs.)
Sometimes Hifa and I would split up in Neiman's and play a game called "who can find the ugliest item". We got kicked out when we started taking pictures.
In celebration of ugly fashions, I thought I's share some of the stupidest, ugliest, biggest wastes of money that I could find. If the hideousness makes you start to feel nauseous, just think abotu Hugh Laurie's face. You'll feel better.
Anyway, let the fashion-bashing commence:
1. A $6,000 cellphone. You think I'm kidding? Go ahead, click on the link. I dare you.
2. A $2,000 diamond encrusted Hello Kitty watch. I can't think of a single thing to say that would make this any more ridiculous.
3. A $6,000 sculpture OF BUDDHA. Are you KIDDING ME?
4. A $300 pair of men's pajamas. For the record, this item is suggested by the NM website as a "Gift for Him". I can't even imagine Matt's face if I gave him a $300 pair of pajamas. It wouldn't be a happy face.
5. This purse. If anyone clicks on this and thinks "awww, that's cute!" then I don't know if we can be friends anymore. This purse is U-G-L-Y. You couldn't pay me enough to carry it, let alone get me to pay $500 for it.
Let this be a lesson to the people of the world (well, those of them with too much money): just because something is expensive and trendy, that doesn't make it good. You may be able to buy a $900 pair of cufflinks, but you can't buy good taste.
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8 comments:
Okay, that purse looks like what would happen if you put a wookiee in the washing machine on hot with bleach.
It's really creepy that they had to make the purse hover in the air to demonstrate its hair feature.
I made the mistake of clicking on the purse before reading your description and for a brief instant I thought Neiman's was selling pets now.
Can you please wear those galoshes to school with a tiny miniskirt and some bad silicon breast implants? That would be greeeaaat, thanks.
Also, I think I'm in love... with the guy modeling the Burberry boxers at the bottom of the page advertising the pajamas. He is pure hotness, despite not having a face... or perhaps ESPECIALLY not having a face....
Hahaha, ok, ok, I'll admit that I was browsing the "men's swimwear" department of the Neiman's website (I own my desperation), but it was worth it to find this....
For only $200, your husband can look this dashing!
hat
Okay, that hat made me laugh so hard that I cried. *Sigh. I love neiman marcus.
I can't believe you passed on the Hello Kitty Large Diamond Pendant!
I laughed so hard at the purse my husband thought I was having an attack of some kind and ran in from the other room to save me!
artemis (sorry didn't sign my name above)
Also can't wait to see in August!
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