Lately, every conversation Nikki and I have ends up spiraling downward into why we hate Tom Cruise. It’s pretty amazing how it all leads back to that. His antics have been a sad experience for some; many people my age say he was their first celebrity crush when they were teens or pre-teens.
Being somewhat dorkier that most, I was never too interested in Tom Cruise. My first love was much more manly, looked great driving the Millenium Falcon, and could (and probably still can) stop the hearts of women everywhere when he tipped his Indiana Jones hat. I’m talking, of course, about the ever-sexy Harrison Ford.
(Okay, maybe “ever-sexy” is an exaggeration. I’m willing to overlook that stupid airplane movie with Anne Heche, but the earring kind of bugs me. Harrison, please, we get that you’re still hip – just take the earring out.)
I can remember being about twelve, watching the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Han kisses Leia (“Stop that – my hands are dirty”), and thinking “Wow. I needs to git me man like that”. Han was so confident and kind of cocky, and yet so sweet when he fell in love with Leia. He seemed like the absolute perfect man.
*Swoon.
There’s something about the Brad-Pitt-like, pretty boy male celebrities that just doesn’t do it for me. I think it has to do with the shaved chests: any man that would shave his chest hair and then grease himself up is just a little boy playing dress up in daddy’s clothes. (Obviously, I make an exception here for the Extremely Hairy. If you have an actual carpet on any part of your body, then the hair removal is acceptable.) All of the male celebrities that I see little girls eyeing (Ashton Kutcher, Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake) seem more like overgrown boys than men. If I’m going to spend time ogling someone onscreen, they need to have some depth. They need to have a few wrinkles around the eyes, they need to have stubble that isn’t perfectly groomed and deliberate. And they can’t have little girly arms.
Another celebrity man that I find super-hot is Pierce Brosnan. Rowr. That’s a man with some depth, some chest hair, and a terrific accent.
Buried somewhere in this drivel is a call to the men of the world. I’ve noticed that a lot of you lack confidence – you seem confused about how to approach women, and spend a lot of time grooming yourselves. But none of this will do any good if you aren’t confident. A character in the South Park movie (who shall remain unnamed to preserve whatever shred of tact I have left) put it very well: “Chicks dig confidence. Just be yourself”.
Oh, and, um . . .don’t ask a girl on a date to a fast food restaurant. Ever.
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4 comments:
Ah, but here's the question of the day: You say that one should be confident, but also that one should just be themselves--what if the two are mutually exclusive?
What if a guy's natual inclination is to be timid and shy (i.e. unconfident)? Should they NOT be themselves by pretending to be confident, or should they just be themsleves and be shy?
Oh, and just to clear up any confusion, this has nothing to do with me: everyone knows that i am the Finest, Best-Looking, Suave, Smart, and Damn-Fine-Catch-of-A-Guy if ever there was one. Thank You.
One Damn Fine Catch of A Guy,
Raymond A. :)
amen on the pierce brosnan. yeah. wow. if only i were 40... :)
I also hate Katie Holmes, and I want that to be clear to your readers. God bless it I hate them both so much but I can't avoid them. I see their wretched faces in line at the grocery store, or when quickly flipping past the E channel late at night, or on CNN online, 'cause for Christ's sake, these fools have, for at least the past 3 days, been headline news, on par with car bombings in Iraq, as if the two stories are equally important.
They are destroying America with their nonsence. Please lock them up, they're the new Michael Jackson and they're guilty, guilty I say of raping my mind with their constant imagry and foolishness.
I'm done now.
Raymond, you are indeed all of the things you said. In answer to your question, I think that a confidence comes from being happy with yourself -it can be quiet and luminous, or loud and boisterous. If a person lacks confidence I would say they should put their quest for the love of another on hold and learn to love herself or himself.
That was probably an overly serious answer, eh?
Nas, I realized I forgot to mention Sting! Rowr times 2.
Nikki . . .lol . . .you read my mind. I almost don't even want to see War of the Worlds or Batman bc those fools are in them
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