Farewell, feathered friend

So much has been said/written about the ridiculousness that is the Western media that there's pretty much nothing I can add. So I usually make my smartass comments on the news to myself. Or, you know, over a frosty Dr. Pepper with my pal Jon Stewart. I have, however, often mentioned my love-hate relationship with CNN.com. I love it because it's hysterical, in that so-screwed-up-it's-funny kinda way. "The Iraqi Parliament got bombed but the main stories are Imus getting fired and something else about Anna Nicole Smith's baby?? Those crazies at CNN!" On the other hand, I hate it for the same reasons. But, I do read CNN.com daily, along with a couple other news sites.

Despite my attempt at keeping mum, I have to comment on this story. In case clicking on the hyperlink is too much effort (how lazy! ugly baby judges you!) I'll give you the recap: Dick Cheney's plane hit a bird but everyone was okay. That's it. That's the entire story. So I ask you: why was this a link off of CNN's homepage? Is there really nothing else going on in the world? Furthermore, most of the story has nothing to do with the bird. Let me share with you a highlite from this gem of journalistic expression:

"Cheney posed for pictures with little girls while Liz Cheney secured a doll with a Western cowboy hat and get-up."

Ummm . . . . ooookay. That's . . . . good to know? Mildly entertaining? What? What am I supposed to be getting from this, CNN? Because what I'm getting is that, somewhere, there's a lower level CNN.com writer with a wicked sense of humor who enjoys making a mockery of the ridiculous assignments he or she is given. (Note to self: make friends with this person).

I also love this comment from Cheney's people:

"A bird hit the right engine of the plane upon landing . . . . He was told after he delivered his remarks."

I love love LOVE that, apparently, Cheney's people weren't sure how to tell him that his plane killed a bird. "Oh, poor Dick. He's going to be so devastated! I mean, it was just an innocent bird - oh, how are we going to tell him! He won't be able to handle this! Wait - I know! We'll just wait to tell him until after he makes his speech. That way he won't start crying in the middle of the big event! Whew. Glad we dodged that bullet."